How To Ensure Your Partner Stays In Love With You

Falling in love these days has become way easier, all it takes is some special attention from that special person and you are head over heels, a thousand butterflies fluttering in your stomach and some feel good chemical is released and that shades your brain.

After the first 2-3 months of being in love, dating becomes more difficult. Most intimate relationships don't turn into long term commitments and this happens for different reasons :

* Challenges that your partner cannot get past comes up and this leads to an ultimate end of your commitment to each other.

* Not wanting to waste time on something that is already problematic makes some give up early.

* While some aren't willing to put energy into a relationship that has no direction or doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

* Others are determined to make the relationship work at all cost even if they have to hold on to the bitter end hoping their continued efforts will succeed but eventually rub themselves of their joy and have no other choice but to let it go.

This category of relationship seekers that have made their best effort to make their relationship last and also aware of couples that have faced the same odds and yet still together tend to question themselves. They want to know what they have done wrong or what they are doing wrongly.

Is there a formula for a successful relationship? 

Below are tips on how to ensure your partner stays in love with you. 

1) How they resolve conflicts 

Every couple argues and they accept the fact that they will never see eye-to-eye on everything. They are aware that differences of opinion adds intrigue to a relationship and it makes it more interesting if disputes are worked out successfully.

They also know that unresolved conflicts can threaten and at the long run damage what they have and makes it harder for them to get back what they've lost.

On the flip side couples who have mastered how to stay in love with each other ache when their disagreements drive them apart. After a conflict, all they want to do is resolve the situation and make up as soon as possible.

They want to understand why they have disagreed and how they could have done better rather than the need to win an argument. Even when hurt or angry they still want their partner to feel heard and supported.

2) They refuse to assign blame. 

During a conflict, so many couples blame their partners for what has gone wrong. It's hard for anyone to look at his or her role in conflict during the outburst of strong emotions.

 To avoid guilt, some people try to make the other person the bad guy, hoping they'll win the argument that way and as a result of these many people cave in when they feel badly about themselves.

The sadness in assigning blame is that it doesn't really work at the long run. There are always two sides to every story, and more than one way to see the truth.

Every intimate partner aches to be heard and understood. When intimate partners use blame to get their way, they are likely to push their partners into being defensive, resentful, angry and withdrawn meanwhile risking the capacity to keep the love alive.

Couples that have learnt how to stay in love know that the partner's view must always be respected and honored, especially if they have different points of view. They strive to understand them in order to find a common ground.

That doesn't mean they will always agree but they know that every connection and disconnection is a responsibility of both parties. It's more like a "we did this to each other" and never should be "this is your fault because you're obviously the problem here"

A change of mindset will fix this problem. 

3) How they respond to the request for connection. 

An important part of every quality relationship is the ability for both partners to be there for each other when they are needed, especially when they're trying to work through difficult emotional issues.

Many partners treat each other this way when the relationship is new and fresh, but as time goes on and the relationship matures, they may come to feel burdened and disrupted by continuous request for connection and not want to be available immediately anymore.


Partners who remain in love do not ignore a partner who wants to connect for any reason whatsoever. Even if they are distracted or preoccupied, they take the time to understand what their partner needs, and decide together how they should handle it.

If that cannot happen at the time, both partners make an agreement as to when they will resolve it. And they do not mock, minimize, or disregard the others desire to connect.

4) How they parent each other. 

in every intimate love relationship there is always an underlying criss-cross interaction where either partner act as a symbolic parent or symbolic child which brings forth nurturing.

As relationships mature, many partners begin to feel less willing to give that kind of unconditional nurturing, and might not be automatically available when the order slips into a younger place. When no longer loved in a tender way the needy partner may feel abandoned or rejected.

They may feel they must behave more carefully having lost the confidence that anything they say or do will automatically be supported. The symbolic parent - child safety net that was available at the beginning of the relationship is no longer always extended.

Stay in love couples understand how important it is to never let the special "sweet spots" die. They know that their partner will sometimes need to feel that guaranteed comfort and safety, and are more willing to act as the good parent when asked.

They know that it is natural for people to feel insecure and younger at times, and they want to be there for each other when that happens

5) How they deal with control. 

Many relationships fail because one partner attempts to dominate the other, or fears being controlled by the other.

Many people had childhood experiences in which they felt unimportant and they often bring does trauma memories into their adult relationship, fearful of being controlled again.

Couples who have stayed in love for a long time know the need to feel in control at times is natural. It allows a person to be fully respected as a stronger one in the relationship at that moment. The other partner has confidence in his or her own self to not react defensively or take it personally.


These couples also know how quickly interaction can deteriorate if both want to be in control at the same time when the situation arises the work to stay collected and calm agreeing to take turns listening to what each other need and feel.

When they fully understand what both of their desires for control about, they decide how to best help each other get their underlying needs met.

6) How they respond to urgency.

 Newly in love couples and most often each other's first priorities, so they respond immediately to their partners distress signals. As life's obligations intervene and the couples resume their normal routines, those request must be absorbed into other priorities.

Even though they may realise that being the centre of someone's life naturally diminishes over time, many partners feel neglected when that happens they become more demanding.

Stay in love couples authentic, open and self reliant but also urgently need one another at times. They trust that the other will never take advantage of that immediate availability, and that when an urgent SOS call goes out, their partner will rapidly respond without question.


They trust that those request are not expressed fraudulently or without concern for the other's needs, stay in love partners understand personal boundaries and take pride in their own independence. 


The know that love must include always leaving each other's hearts, whether they are together in the same place or temporarily apart.

They know that the future is unwritten and that they can be taken from each other at any time the acceptance of that truth continuously reminds them that the relationship is only as good as they are able to recreate it in each present moment.